Friday, November 16, 2007

Reach out and touch someone

I have a lot I want to say. There are several updates to give, a lot of stories to tell, and surprisingly some ventable feelings. The problem is that I'm not sure where to start.

I guess I'll start with my date. That's right, friends, I went on a date. Right up until he showed up on my doorstep I felt like I had about 14 butterflies dancing a tango in my belly. I had an excellent time, though. Not sure how he felt about things... Anyway, a brief synopsis of the evening: we missed all but one of the 8 goals scored in the hockey game because we were so busy talking, we practically got kicked out of the restaurant because we sat there talking so long, and then after deciding that he should probably take me home so he could get to bed at a decent hour we ended up talking in his car for almost another 2 hours. This lovely little car-chat had the potential to be quite romantic since it was raining outside, but unfortunately remained completely platonic. He walked me to my door, gave me an exceptionally good hug, and then we called it a night. All in all, as close to a successful date as I've had in a long time. If only he weren't such a great guy, I hate it when I fall unexpectedly.

The second thing that's been on my mind quite about lately is my spiritual welfare. I've recently made some decisions about some upcoming events, changes, and experiences, and in doing so I've realized that my spiritual growth and testimony aren't where they should be. In the pressures of day to day life I've, quite unfortunately, been leaving my Heavenly Father out in the cold. I've made a concious decision to change this part of my life for the better.

I feel as though some of my friendships have been suffering lately as well. This makes me sad, but at the same time it makes me wonder why I can't seem to keep a friendship alive. I know part of it is that I'm in a different place in my life than most of my friends. I'm done with school, I have a job that allows me a lot of free time, and I get lonely when I'm on my own so much. I just wish there was some way to combat the loneliness during the day.

At the suggestion of some people close to me in my life I recently read the book The Five Love Languages for Singles. It was fantastic! It literally changed the way I look at my life and how I interact with those around me. I have spent the last week or so analyzing those around me trying to discern what their love language could be. I know without a doubt that mine is physical touch. Seriously, if you ever want to make me feel loved all you have to do is give me a hug, squeeze my hand, or momentarily rest a hand on my shoulder. Nothing makes me feel more loved, more safe, or more secure than being able to cuddle up next to someone and just be there in the moment. Maybe this is what's been missing in my friendships, that actual physical aspect. Maybe I'm hoping for something I can't have right now. I don't really know. Either way, it's time for me to reach out and touch someone.

I think there's something wrong with me. I can't seem to get warm. No matter how toasty the room, how many layers of clothing I put on, or how close I stand to the heating vent I still get all shivery. Maybe it's because I spent the last 3 winters in a warmer climate, but I don't like these new freezing feelings. I'm naturally a warm-body person, so I'm starting to freak out a little bit. Even right this moment my hands are like blocks of ice. Not okay.

Anyway, that's enough of an update for now. Love you all!


Therapevo Ydata said...

I'm so glad that the date went well for you! You really deserve to have a wonderful guy.

I miss you a lot too! I am just so freaking busy now that I have absolutely no time in my life. A drive to SLC is a lot of homework time gone, even though it would be worth it. I'll have to see what I can do in that department...