Pushing through the dry spell...

So, for the last little while my life has had a complete lack of any sort of physical relationship. Not gonna lie, kind of dying right now. So, instead of forgetting about it, here are a few quotes on the subject of kissing:

"If you are ever in doubt as to whether to kiss a pretty girl, always give her the benefit of the doubt." ~ Thomas Carlyle

"A kiss without a hug is like a flower without the fragrance."

'"May I print a kiss on your lips?" I said,
And she nodded her full permission:
So we went to press and I rather guess
We printed a full edition.' ~John Lilientha

"Kissing is like drinking salted water. You drink, and your thirst increases." ~Chinese Proverb

"It takes a lot of experience for a girl to kiss like a beginner." ~Ladies Home Journal 1948

"A man's kiss is his signature." ~Mae West

"A kiss can be a comma, a question mark, or an exclamation point. That's basic spelling that every woman ought to know." ~Mistinquette

"Kisses are like tears, the only real ones are the ones you can't hold back."

" Women still remember the first kiss after men have forgotten the last." ~Remy De Gourmont

So, my friends... if you have someone to kiss, please do it.

Much love!

Secrets, secrets are no fun...

I swear, if I didn't know better, I'd think I was living in a Nickelodeon teenage soap opera. My life has secret crushes, disease, disaster, friendship problems, make-outs that screw things up, and so much more... about the only thing I'm missing is a pregnant 16 year old named Jamie Lynne. Okay, so that might be taking it a little far.

There is a theory I've heard that bad things happen in threes: Natural disasters, death, personal issues, etc. This week will be the test on whether this particular theory holds true in my own life.

Bad Thing #1: The Dreaded Phone Call... I won't go into anymore detail than that, except that my life hasn't been the same since. I'll let you know if and when this particular issue resolves.

Bad Thing #2: The Ultimate Back-Burner Girl... Yes, this is my lot in life. Not only did I waste my entire vacation, but I came back home more stressed than when I left. A vacation shouldn't do that to you. Of course, someone you consider your best friend shouldn't do what he did, either. Sorry, I realize I'm being totally cryptic, but this all makes sense in my head. If you want more information let me know and I'll fill you in.

Bad Thing #3: The Suicide... I recieved word last night that a friend of mine in St. George killed herself this week after learning about her much younger husband's affair with a teenager. It just made me realize that life is short. She left behind three already somewhat screwed up kids, a family and friends that care about her, and what could've been the remainder of a great life. Maybe it's just me, and I realize this is going to sound harsh, but I have a hard time mustering up sympathy for someone who doesn't have better problem solving skills. My first reaction would've been to leave the lying, cheating, low-down bastard... not drive my car off a cliff. Maybe it's just me. Anyway, I know she can't read this where she is now, but Kolette, this is for you: I'm sorry you felt like you had nowhere else to turn. I hope you've found the peace you were so desperately seeking.

In other news, despite the recent piling up of stressful events, I'm surprisingly calm and at ease with my world. I'm happier than I've been in a long time, and I think it's because I've finally let go. I'm giving myself the opportunity to grow, change, and be happy by myself. Life is good, I really don't have much to complain about, and I feel a change in the winds.

Please, keep me in your prayers as I face the continuous mounting of challenges while Satan tests what I'm really made of.

Much love!

Growing pains

He brings out the best in me.

He makes me laugh when I am down.
He gives me a shoulder to cry on when I can't hold back the tears.
He gives me "that look" out of the blue.
He always knows just what I need to hear, even when I don't want to hear it.
He treats me like a queen, even when I don't deserve it.
He always knows how to make me smile.
Even his bad habits don't annoy me.
He is a fantastic kisser.
Our hands just fit together.
He can take it as well as dish it out.
He'll rescue me when I'm in a bind.
He knows how to push my buttons to get what he wants.
He gives me a place to stay when I have nowhere to go.
He is my refuge from the storm.
He brings out my temper.
He has no idea how amazing I am.
He'll buy me dinner.
We make a great team.

He brings out the best in me, unfortunately he also brings out the worst in me. Maybe he'll realize what he had once it's gone.

Then again, maybe not.

Fear Not...

Have you ever experienced that gut-clenching, heart-wrenching, complete, and total feeling of fear?

There are certain times in my life that I experience such terror. It takes a lot to ruffle my feathers, really it does, but there are certain things that scare me beyond all reason. A few of these things have been introduced into my life this past week and consequently I've been living in a state of constant fear for the last 7 days.

There are parts of me that think fear is a very selfish emotion, and yet it is one I can't help feeling. They say faith is the opposite of fear, and maybe I don't have enough faith, but I do not like being scared. Honestly, these are issues that I feel I need to deal with on my own, anyhow. They are very much of the physical world, and I feel would be trifling to anyone else. Don't get me wrong, I pray about them regularly, seek answers in the scriptures and other places, but at the same time feel as though these are things I need to just wait out.

There is something of a worrier in me by nature, and maybe this is my problem. I have quite the talent for turning molehills into mountains. Unfortunately, pessimism is a large part of my personality and I automatically have a tendency to think the worst. I've found that sometimes the only way to overcome this particular problem is to surround myself with those I love, pray for the best, and enjoy the parts of life that don't terrify me.

So, here I sit, in one of my favorite places in the whole world, my home away from home, surrounded by friends that I love and who love me, and I hope and pray for the best.

And yet again, I wait for the fear to subside.