Saturday, January 19, 2008

Fear Not...

Have you ever experienced that gut-clenching, heart-wrenching, complete, and total feeling of fear?

There are certain times in my life that I experience such terror. It takes a lot to ruffle my feathers, really it does, but there are certain things that scare me beyond all reason. A few of these things have been introduced into my life this past week and consequently I've been living in a state of constant fear for the last 7 days.

There are parts of me that think fear is a very selfish emotion, and yet it is one I can't help feeling. They say faith is the opposite of fear, and maybe I don't have enough faith, but I do not like being scared. Honestly, these are issues that I feel I need to deal with on my own, anyhow. They are very much of the physical world, and I feel would be trifling to anyone else. Don't get me wrong, I pray about them regularly, seek answers in the scriptures and other places, but at the same time feel as though these are things I need to just wait out.

There is something of a worrier in me by nature, and maybe this is my problem. I have quite the talent for turning molehills into mountains. Unfortunately, pessimism is a large part of my personality and I automatically have a tendency to think the worst. I've found that sometimes the only way to overcome this particular problem is to surround myself with those I love, pray for the best, and enjoy the parts of life that don't terrify me.

So, here I sit, in one of my favorite places in the whole world, my home away from home, surrounded by friends that I love and who love me, and I hope and pray for the best.

And yet again, I wait for the fear to subside.