Sunday, October 14, 2007

I am...

I've been thinking a lot lately about balance. No, I don't mean balance in the physical, don't-fall-on-your-head way, but balance in my everyday life. Sometimes I get so caught up in the day-to-day humdrum of my life that I have to conciously take a step back and take stock of how my balance is. This next little bit of my blog is more for myself than anyone else, so feel free to quit reading at any time. For anyone interested in the inner workings of my head, however, feel free to continue on.

Physical: Okay, I'll be the first one to admit that this one has been shoved to the back burner long enough. I partially blame nursing school for making me the way I am, currently, but I can no longer use that as an excuse. This particular area of my life has been out of balance for far to long. Granted, I have lost weight since returning to Salt Lake, but losing weight isn't enough. I need to set some goals for myself, work hard to accomplish them, and then set some new ones. I want to feel good again.

Mental: I rely too much on others for my mental stability. It's time for me to take responsibility for my own mentality (whether good or bad). I want to be happy with myself just for the sheer fact of being me. I'm well on my way to this, but I still need a little work. It is slow going, learning to truly love oneself, but I know that in the end the peace and balance it will bring to my life will be it's own reward.

Spiritual: Believe it or not, this aspect of my life has been thrown off balance as well. I have no one to blame but myself. I'm resolving right now to do what I can to bring myself closer to my Heavenly Father. It's been quite some time since I've been on a spiritual high, and I think that now is a good time to rediscover this particular aspect of myself. We've just recieved excellent counsel from the brethren and I intend to study it and put it to use in my everyday life.

Temporal: This is the portion of myself that is knocking everything else out of balance, I'm afraid. I've spent the last several weeks and months making sure that I have myself temporally taken care of. I just bought a condo (yay!), have a fairly new job with a promotion in the works, and am finally making enough money to live my temporal life in a comfortable way.

Relationships: Now, this is a very broad category. I use the term "relationships" to span the board from friends, to boyfriends, to family. I'm going to break this particular category into some subcategories for my own organizational fulfillment.
Family: I feel as though my relationship with my family is in a very balanced place, currently. Not only am I near them geographically, but I feel very near them in every sense of the word. We are closer than we have been in a long time and our relationships together are in a very good place. I consider my parents and my siblings some of my best friends and I love spending time with them.
Friends: This is one of the things I feel is currently unbalanced in my life. I feel as though I have to try incredibly hard to keep my some of my friendships alive. Sometimes I feel forgotten, left behind, and like an afterthought. I realize that a lot of this is purely my own insecurities about myself, but they make me feel unimportant, nonetheless. Don't get me wrong, I love all of my friends dearly, but most of them don't live near me. My best friends live in either Ogden (I know, not that far away, but we both work full time), or St. George. I also have many close friends in the Provo area. However, I feel as though I need to make some friends a little bit closer to home. My friendships need some balance.
Romantic-style: This particular aspect of my life is completely out of whack, and unfortunately I feel that there's not much I can do about it. I don't get asked on dates very often, hardly ever in fact. I've heard from several sources that guys like it when girls ask them out on dates...these sources have obviously never seen the way guys react when I ask them out. Now, I realize that I'm not a cookie cutter Utah girl, physically or personality-wise. I'm okay with this. I just wish the guys here would be, too. My romantic life needs to have some balance.

Everything else: Now, I realize that this is an impossibly broad description of the many things that shape and define who I am. I'm going to cover just a few of them.
Hobbies: Since the end of my career as a college student I've had a lot of free time (A new term to me, for sure). I've spent some of this time rediscovering some past and present loves. I've been able to read a lot. My appetite for literature has grown stronger with every book I read. I've been able to pursue my photography. I spent this morning taking pictures of a friend's band. It's been a long time since I've enjoyed myself that much. Not only was I spending time with a great friend, but I was able to do it from behind the lens of my beloved Canon. I've also decided that I'm trying out for the Jenny Phillips choir. I'm very excited about this. It's been several years since I've sung with a choir and I miss it immensely. I've also rediscovered my loves of writing, cooking, and playing in the rain.
My career: I love what I do for a living. Let me say that one more time: I LOVE WHAT I DO FOR A LIVING! I was born to be a nurse. Any other job choice would be absolutely unsuitable for me. I love caring for my patients. I love watching them get better. I love helping people. I love being a shoulder to cry on if necessary. I am a nurse. This is one sector of my life that feels completely in balance, completely in tune, completely whole and complete.

So, my faithful few readers, if you were brave (or bored) enough to make it this far you have now caught a glimpse of the inner workings of my mind. My goal for my life is balance, and I plan on doing what I can to find and keep this balance.

Life is a tightrope act and I refuse to fall, even if there is a safety net.

Much love!


Meg said...

Selkie - Okay this may sound dumb coming from me because I did get married pretty young, but I used to really worry about getting married and when I would meet the right guy, it was stressful. Then one day I read my P. blessing and it says in there that I will be married, so I relaxed and stopped worrying about it, and that's when I met Trent. The same thing with being a mom. It was not easy for me to get pregnant, it took a really long time, and there was a long time there that I thought I would never have kids. Same thing, in my P.B. it says that I will have children. It was hard to just put all that faith in the Lord and let him do it on his timeline, but I had faith that it would happen because he promised me that it would. Work on balancing the things that you actually have control over, and leave the rest up to him.... I promise it will work!

Post-It Boy said...

1) Setting goals rocks. Especially when you do them.

2) If you want to lose weight or get into shape, do it for all the right reasons---not just to impress people or get ahead in the dating world. (Believe me, men are horrible individuals---I am ashamed of my sex! haha)

3) Life is a constant balance and a shifting of areas in life to keep going strong.